leo

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

hey friends! i have my first top surgery consult in a couple weeks! i made a gofundme to help with the costs because i am living in pretty extreme poverty right now. i’m very poor, but if i don’t get this surgery soon i fear my dysphoria may because too severe to bear. please please donate if you can, and share!!<3

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TIL, Calvin Klein’s cologne ‘Obsession’ can draw big cats like Tigers, Jaguars etc from as far as half a mile, who then proceed to taking long sniffs and cuddling against the source, savouring the smell much longer than they savour even their meals

via reddit.com

30-minute-memes

not the cougar i thought I’d attract but I’ll take it

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My friend is doing fieldwork in Costa Rica and she informed me that if they want herbivores to stay out on an area for research, they spray Obsession around the area and I thought it was hilarious and made an incredibly specific niche meme that I never thought I’d be able to post

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So there's this plastic turtle we have outside our school that tells cars to slow down. My kids have always asked me why I don't have a husband, and I got tired of telling them because I didn't want one, so I pointed to him and said, "That dude. That's my husband."

This has been a running joke for two years now. All the kids know the plastic turtle outside the school is my husband. He doesn't have a name, just Miss Cat's husband.

Today was really windy, and the turtle dude fell over. I was taking a kid out to his mom, and he saw it on the ground and went, "Oh look, your husband died."

So I said, "Oh darn. Looks like I'm single again."

And without skipping a beat, he goes, "I'll be your husband."

Mom is standing there trying not to laugh as I got down on my knees, took the kid's hands in mine, and said, "Thanks for the offer, bud, but no thank you. We'll just pick that guy up so he can start being my husband again."

So the kid runs over, picks the turtle up, and goes "Good morning, husband! You're not dead anymore. Good job."